it hurts

my chest feels like its about to explode, i don't know what i did to make him do this to me, i loved him, i still love him, and when he did that it was as though my heart was no longer there, but replaced by this void, a hole i have only ever felt once before. i know its not right to judge your happiness based on someone elses feelings about you, but thats not what this is, my happiness is based on who i chose to share my heart with, and when i have my heart ripped apart like this its as though it doesn't matter anymore, its as though life lost all its meaning, and i am jealous, i think non stop, is he with someone else, is that the reason, is that why this happened... dammit, i hate this, i just want it to end, for everything to go away, why did this have to happen